When Ngakwan was asked about her father’s imminent departure, the smile on her face quickly faded. “I just want my dad to stay,” said the eight-year-old, her eyes filled with sadness.
Ngakwan’s father, Mr Lui, was the sole breadwinner of the household when he was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. Unable to maintain his job, Mr. Lui and his family fell into difficult times.
To afford cancer treatment, Mr and Mrs Lui resorted to borrowing money from their friends and relatives. Yet, the procedures brought only more painful side effects for Mr Lui, making his life miserable. With each passing hospital visit, the family’s disappointment and hopelessness grew.
“Day and night, I looked after my husband until my own health was compromised. At one point, the pain became so unbearable for him that he contemplated suicide. There was nothing I could do except hold him and tell him that his children loved and needed him.”
By chance, Mr Lui came across the Jockey Club Home for Hospice and was approved for admission under the “Subsidy Bed Scheme”, which greatly reduced his expenses. Under the care of the clinical team, not only was his pain alleviated but his family was also closely supported by the clinical social workers.
It was a welcome change for Mrs Lui, who was finally relieved of her carer stress. However, one worry remained on her mind. “My three children are so young that I have no idea how to discuss life and death with them. Now, they are about to lose their father forever…”
Grief is not an emotion that young children are often capable of processing. When counselling bereaved children, social workers need to exercise greater sensitivity and patience. Clinical social worker, Francis, explained that bereavement counselling for children is often conducted through a creative medium such as, games, art and storytelling. They may ask questions like, ‘Why did that character die?’, which presents an opportunity for discussion on death and grief. In addition, the social work team helped Mr Lui complete a “Life Review”, a collection of heartwarming memories for his children to remember him by.
When Mr Lui passed away, the social work team continued to provide follow up bereavement support to his family through regular home visits. Mrs Lui was reminded to closely monitor the behaviour of her children and request additional support if necessary. “If not for the generous donors, my family would not have been able to afford even one day of care,” said Mrs Lui. “I hope my children will remember this act of kindness and pay it forward one day.”
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| Mr Lui was the sole breadwinner of his family until his illness prevented him from working. |
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| Ngakwan was happily playing with her siblings, but her smile disappeared when asked about her father’s imminent departure. |
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